INDECISION SUICIDAL

Feeling lower than I ever had before,

Feeling more alone than I ever was,

What could I do?

I couldn't go on living like this.

I couldn't go on living.

I lay in bed

In my dark, unlit room,

Pondering the possibilities.

To down the bottle of pills on my nightstand

And close my eyes.

To feel the love of the opiate high,

Never again feeling loneliness

Or fighting the never-ending battle with my demon, Depression.

To feel the cold kiss of the razorblade

On my cold, cold, wrists.

To feel the hot rush of blood through my veins,

Warming my wrists and Arctic soul

As my vision turned gray and faded.

I lay in bed

In my dark, unlit room

Pondering the possibilities.

But I couldn't make up my mind.

So, I chose life instead.

(7-17-2000)

(rev. 3-15-2001)

(rev. #2: 7-21-2007)

(rev. #3: 11-2-2008)