I'M TIRED

I'm tired.
Tired of fighting everyhing and for everything.
Tired of things not working out
In love
In work
In life.

Tired of seeing others move on,
Their lives playing out before me,
While my needle stays stuck in my arm
And in the same worn-out groove.

I'm tired of having lost the love
Of two really great men
Because of my addiction
I don't want to be going through this again.

I'm tired of having to fight for every little scrap
Of self-esteem and self-respect and self-control.
I'm tired of crying over my own feelings,
Long overdue for a good oen anyway
Because they spent far too long drowning at the bottom of a bottle.
I'm tired about worrying about not worrying about others' opinions
And just concentrating on my own well-being.

But if eternal vigilance
Is the price of my freedom over this addiction,
Then bring the battle on.

But damn it all to hell,
I'm tired.

© 3-28-2009